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Alone

I am alone but not lonely.
The silence is always the mark of the end.
Most days go on completely normally.
Sometimes 5 or 6 hours will pass and i won’t give you a single thought.
Other days are fully excruciating.
Some days I want to tell you it’s time for you to commit to her.
Other days I plan her death, sometimes yours as well.
The moments when I try to remember what your voice sounds like, my heart bleeds to hear you again.
Other moments I know you’re where you belong, and that you’ll never leave her.
A man will never leave his wife for a mistress, I was that exception.
You’ve hurt me more than anyone else ever has, and honestly….
I no longer know how I feel about you.
I’m not sure I still love you.
I’m not sure I ever could again.

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